What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 09:38
Put me off passion for life!!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
If Trump were to lose in 2024, would that be the end of his grip on the Republican Party?
One cannot live in the past .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
It was going to be , some day.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
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And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
How do you cope when your mother doesn't love you?
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I was 9 years of age.
Why do many women like tall men?
I write beautiful poetry .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
So whats the point in blame.
Why do doctors refuse HRT to menopausal women but hand them out to trans people?
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
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.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I don,t even have a pension.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So, i spoilt her more .
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Why don't I want to talk to my girlfriend when she loves me a lot? I feel bored.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Would this be the day?
Why won't my mom let me come home if I'm homeless?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why are women attracted to ugly guys?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
In the TV show Supernatural, why is God portrayed as cruel?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Im still living with it.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
What are some creepy bestiality-promoting questions obviously asked for sexual gratification?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I never cut or harmed myself..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I said to her
He resisted the act ,that day.
She loved him until the end.
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She was in good health!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Comes on , in middle age.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She married twice! .
She found it foreign!.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I was very sick at this time too.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When she asked me how she looked .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He knew the spot.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
As i do to all so called friends.?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
We were not on the streets..
I think the readers, may guess!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
And i lived it daily.
I will be 64.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Why did i forgive my father ?
What did i know ?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
This is soul school!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
(And it was in our own minds.)
My family never makes their pension either.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Was to survive, this bastard.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But ive been too sick for many years..
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I waited trembling.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My life is so biszare .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Especially a lifetime of it.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was seconnd youngest,
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But, we were locked up after school.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
We all went to grammer schools
I was scared of men, in general
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She wouldn,t have been !
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Who then, do I blame.?
All the time i was locked up.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Ive learnt so much.
But it wasn’t much.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He was dying to do it , i knew.